The Only Cars America Should Build Pt.2

I’m back folks and ready to drop the guillotine on the next American automaker, Ford. If you haven’t had a chance to check out Part 1 of this series, please do so. GM was up first, done and dusted… some cars were saved, some were left to burn in the fire. In Part 2 of the series, we will focus on Ford and it’s American sub-brands, Lincoln and Mercury. I will be picking the best vehicles from the lineup but I will be adding two models from the Ford Europe portfolio. The two European models chosen are that good and deserve a chance to be sold worldwide.

FORD SHOULD PRODUCE & DEVELOP

  • Ford Mustang: an American icon that just keeps getting better with age. I personally think the it produces the most distinctive and sweetest harmonies from its pipes! I would work on developing a multi-link rear suspension though… come on already, it’s 2009!
  • Ford Flex: the coolest looking minivan I’ve ever seen… I know they don’t classify it as that but it really doesn’t look like a crossover to me. Original styling; has retro touches; I feel like it should have a surfboard strapped to the roof.
  • Ford F-150: what can I say? For the longest time, this was the best selling truck in the US. They were onto something, that’s for sure. Ditch any unnecessary variants though. You don’t have to have 100 different versions of a single platform.
  • Ford Edge: cool styling; work on the quality of the interior though
  • Ford Focus RS (Europe): hot hatch; beautiful rally bred styling; turbocharged and does 0-60mph in 5.9 sec.; revolutionary suspension design; the car is worth checking out yourself… Google it you lazy bum!
  • Ford Ka (Europe): economical and stylish; I think the American market is looking for smaller sized vehicles nowadays and this car would do well, especially in the city limits
  • Ford Crown Victoria / Mercury Grand Marquis: cops abuse them; house drivers swear by them in the Middle East – in a nutshell, these cars are made to take a beating
  • Lincoln Towncar: Donald Trump still needs a limo, right?
  • Lincoln Navigator: ditch the Ford variant and stick to the higher quality build Navigator; the Ford group will still need a classy truck to compete with the Cadillac Escalade; has many options and looks pretty mean rolling around town
  • Lincoln MKT: I like the styling a lot… interior looks high grade too

I WILL GLADLY DROP THE GUILLOTINE ON FORD’S BEHALF

  • Ford Taurus: a rent-a-car favorite with a new design that isn’t bad at all but the Lincoln variant is nicer
  • Ford Explorer: should have been axed a long time ago; especially when the “Firestone defect tire” drama unfolded

You know what, gonna do you a favor here and not waste your time with the rest my dear readers. “Executioner… line up the remaining Ford, Lincoln and Mercury vehicles that didn’t make the list and chop away! They are not worthy”!

Once we get Ford’s blood cleaned off the floors over at Brake Banzeen! headquarters, we’ll get to work on Chrysler in Part 3. Stay tuned!

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    4 Comments on “The Only Cars America Should Build Pt.2”

    1. bu ziad Says:

      the Americans have amazing technology.. the first atomic bomb, then the landing on the moon, awesome weapon technology, and and and… however, they somehow manage to make real crappy cars compared to the Europeans even after all these years. I just don’t get it!

      • el wehbi Says:

        it all has to do with greed… the more platforms and variants you make across the board, the better your bonus will be at the end of year. the corporate world put a choke hold on the big 3 and used them as a platform to feed their bank balances. in my opinion, the only people running car companies should be business minded car enthusiasts.

    2. DrK Says:

      I thought I already commented on this, but here goes: The ford muffstank, I used to despise, but now its def much better, altho Id prefer those sounds to come from the engine not tailpipes. Ford flex is acceptable minus its cheap interior. Its also, oddly enough, very aerodynamic. Ford F150, I think they have to built multiple platforms because its used for anything from light duty work to ambulances, and ironically its the number one selling “car” in the world. The ford Edge is for people without the nuts to buy the Flex, same gripes about the interior qual. All the rest are moot since I’ll prob never encounter them in any way, shape, or form other than what you mentioned, and yes, Im intentionally ignoring the chromed out ghetto magnet navigator.

      PS: did you mean Ford Exploder? a’la exploding tires.


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